Where is Ambrose Bierce now that we really need him?
- Artificial Intelligence, n.: Intelligence that would be sent back to the kitchen if it were food and delivered to your table in a restaurant.
- Authenticity, n.: A carefully curated simulation of spontaneity.
- Bipartisan, adj.: Approved by members of opposing parties who agree it will not cost them their seats.
- Blockchain n.: A solution whose problem has not yet been located.
- Climate, n.: Long-term consequences crafted by short-term, instant-gratification thinkers.
- Democracy, n.: Governance by the uninformed, for the unqualified.
- Education, n.: The systematic suppression of facts to protect fragile minds from reality.
- Enshittification, n.: The swift, inevitable decline in quality of online platforms once users are hooked.
- Influencer, n. One who is paid handsomely to pretend they discovered oat milk, sunrise, or having opinions.
- Stakeholder, n.: Anyone who will be blamed if the outcome is poor and credited if it is good.
- Stakeholder Capitalism, n.: An ingenious system whereby corporations lecture you about morality, climate, and equity while maximizing shareholder value through Chinese supply chains and addictive dopamine loops.
- Work-Life Balance n.: A mythological state, like Atlantis, frequently referenced and never reached.
I do not claim that all or, indeed, any of those are original.
Soliciting suggestions for additional entries.
Updated
- Slop, n.: poorly crafted uninteresting content created by artificial intelligence rather than poorly crafted, uninteresting content slapped together by human beings
- Viral, adj.: Content that spreads infectiously, like a virus, and has the same effect on the stomach.
- Em dash, n.: A hyphen that has been told it is special.
Update 2
- Affordable housing, n.: Housing paid for by someone else.
- Ally, n.: An ally is someone who supports your cause right up until the moment their own interests are better served by not doing so.
Slop
Emdash
Viral
Challenge accepted! See my update.
Thank you! Those three made my day.
Patriotic
Ally
Healthy food
Natural medicine
Affordable housing
Steve
I’ve supplied definitions of “ally” and “affordable housing”. It would be hard to improve on Bertrand Russell’s definition of “patriotism” (the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons) but I’ll try. I’ll need to think about the other two.
I thought you would quickly come up with one for affordable housing since it’s such a juicy target. Ally seemed like it would be fun.
OT- 2 days after Trump claimed Iran was no longer able to shoot down our planes 2 got shot down. We need a definition for these claims by Trump.
Steve
How about
LOL. You should submit that one somewhere.
Steve
Bless the freed weapons officer and the code of conduct that amassed the resources to rescue him.
Truth (noun): the pretense that information from unverified sources is accurate.