Where is Ambrose Bierce now that we really need him?
- Artificial Intelligence, n.: Intelligence that would be sent back to the kitchen if it were food and delivered to your table in a restaurant.
- Authenticity, n.: A carefully curated simulation of spontaneity.
- Bipartisan, adj.: Approved by members of opposing parties who agree it will not cost them their seats.
- Blockchain n.: A solution whose problem has not yet been located.
- Climate, n.: Long-term consequences crafted by short-term, instant-gratification thinkers.
- Democracy, n.: Governance by the uninformed, for the unqualified.
- Education, n.: The systematic suppression of facts to protect fragile minds from reality.
- Enshittification, n.: The swift, inevitable decline in quality of online platforms once users are hooked.
- Influencer, n. One who is paid handsomely to pretend they discovered oat milk, sunrise, or having opinions.
- Stakeholder, n.: Anyone who will be blamed if the outcome is poor and credited if it is good.
- Stakeholder Capitalism, n.: An ingenious system whereby corporations lecture you about morality, climate, and equity while maximizing shareholder value through Chinese supply chains and addictive dopamine loops.
- Work-Life Balance n.: A mythological state, like Atlantis, frequently referenced and never reached.
I do not claim that all or, indeed, any of those are original.
Soliciting suggestions for additional entries.
Updated
- Slop, n.: poorly crafted uninteresting content created by artificial intelligence rather than poorly crafted, uninteresting content slapped together by human beings
- Viral, adj.: Content that spreads infectiously, like a virus, and has the same effect on the stomach.
- Em dash, n.: A hyphen that has been told it is special.
Slop
Emdash
Viral
Challenge accepted! See my update.
Thank you! Those three made my day.