When I was in my early to mid-teens (before the glaciers descended and dinosaurs ruled the earth), in the interests of helping me figure out what I wanted to do when I grew up, my parents came upon an interesting scheme. They were nothing if not creative. Presumably, you’ve heard (or participated in) Take Your Daughter/Son to Work Days. My parents did that one better. They dragooned various friends of my dad’s into taking me to to their workplaces. And to their homes.
I worked for my dad in summers, running errands, making dunning phone calls, doing research, and so on. I’d been going to court since babyhood. I had a pretty good idea of what a lawyer did for a living and how lawyers lived. Physician, engineer, architect, newspaper editor, mortgage banker, insurance man. I visited and spent time in all of their workplaces and in their homes. I also spent a month living with a family friend who was a physical chemist and college professor and his family which gave me a pretty fair idea of what it was like to be a college professor. Some of these they proposed; others were my idea. My parents actively encouraged me to make suggestions in this project.
Creative and interesting as it was the idea flopped and I think I know why. I was exposed to the mechanics of these jobs and their practical implications but not the joy. I was discouraged from practically everything. The perverse result of the experiment was that I knew about a lot of jobs I didn’t want to do.
The main practical result of the program was that it got me interested in French cooking. The wife of the physical chemist, my mom’s best college friend IIRC, was a French cook and living in their home and eating her cooking got me interested. It took a few years for that interest actually to bear fruit. That’s a story for another time.
I’m still trying to figure out what I’ll do when I grow up.
I didn’t know about the experiment. I just thought the parents were trying to get you out of our hair for awhile.
Well, there’s always that.
That’s a very astute observation. (The one about not seeing the joy.) I was convinced never to be a lawyer by working for a year or so in a Washington law firm in the library. All I saw was associates buried in books when I’d leave on Friday and still buried in books when I came back on Monday. Standing in the yard you just see the outer walls of the house.
I realized this in another context. By the time we had kids we’d been together for almost 20 years. After some argument or another our daughter asked if we were getting divorced. (This would have been argument #5312, give or take.) She was seeing the outside, knowing nothing of the inside or the history.
I decided I didn’t want to work in the family business (construction) after witnessing my Dad’s work. I still feel that way every time I talk with my brother. The challenge of being the middle-man between customers and subcontractors does not appeal to me.
I’m glad you made this post because it gets me thinking about my own kids. I shall have to do something to broaden their actual experience – education isn’t sufficient.
Thanks, Andy. One point my dad was adamant on: it was important for me to understand the standard of living that different jobs could support. What they did wasn’t all that was important. How you wanted to live was important, too.
Sharing the joy is no mean feat. I worked for my dad at his business, on and off, for many years, and always found it dreary, even though I knew he loved it. Years later, after his death and having come into my own in another line of work, I can see how much I might have loved it too, if I only understood where the joy was. But I couldn’t see that at the time.
That’s exactly right.
Like you, Dave, I was at my fathers side from early years. I’ve been in the OR seeing open heart surgery, cancer surgery, hip replacements, brain bleeding etc. I’ve done the routine rounds. I’ve been in the ER on Friday and Saturday nights when the drunks and their car wrecks or shootings come in.
But this is what really caught my eye: “a physical chemist”
My BS and MS degrees are in Metallurgical Engineering. I often refer to myself as a Chemical Engineer because they are essentially the same, and most people have a vague notion of what chemical engineering is, but faintly smile, telling you they have no clue, what metallurgical engineering is. But this is all really physical chemistry. And not one in a thousand understands the term “physical chemistry,” vs just chemist, or biochemist. Now THAT’s cool. Salute!
He had worked on the Manhattan Project. At the time I was with them his specific area of interest was plasma.
My thesis prof worked on the Manhattan Project. I think I’ve commented on this before. A crusty old German named Dr Reinhardt Schumann. He can be googled. Changed my life.
We were going to save the world. Absorb sulfur with the inherent iron content in coal as it burned in a fluidized bed boiler and prevent acid rain.
Heh. They still use baghouses…..
Oh, and PS. Growing up is vastly over-rated.