Dogs and the Art of Relationship Maintenance

I just finished Suzanne Clothier’s book Bones Would Rain from the Sky and I thought I’d share my thoughts on it with you. The title is from a Turkish proverb: “If a dog’s prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky”.

With good health and care a dog will live between 8 and 20 years depending on the breed. Consequently, once you’ve decided to take a dog into your home, you’ve agreed to put a substantial investment in time and energy (not to mention money) over a considerable period into your relationship with the dog. Why not make the most of it?

Suzanne Clothier’s book is a collection of autobiography, anecdotes, advice, and reflections dedicated to helping you do just that. Drawing on sources as diverse as the currently prevailing dog training literature to core animal behavior works to The Little Prince and M. Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled, it’s woven together in an entertaining and frequently moving fashion and makes a quick and enjoyable read.

Here’s a sample of the book:

Any relationship is a complicated thing at best, springing as it does from an intersection off two lives; two sets of desires, interests and fears; two different perspectives and understandings of the shared world. In our relationships with animals, we find additional mysteries of other languages and cultures quite unlike our own. While the differences between us and animals both charm and attract, they also serve to complicate the whole affair. I am quite certain that every dog on earth goes to his grave mystified by certain human behaviors. My own dogs adore water in any form except that which is found in a bathtub accompanied by dog shampoo. As a result, they are very often wet, especially in the summer when their wading pool is constantly available to them. While on most nights I welcome the comfort of their warm bodies as I sleep, there is something less than delightful about snuggling up to hot, wet dogs. As I shoo them from bed for reasons they cannot comprehend, they throw themselves on the floor with dramatic sights and expressions that reveal the truth of John Steinbeck’s comment, “I have seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that dogs think humans are nuts.”

Bones Would Rain from the Sky is a dog book but it’s not just a dog book: it’s a book about relationships—between spouses, parents and children, or even between nations. To make the most out of the relationship there you need to go beyond the mechanical—the level of stimulus and reponse. The next level, the motivational level, is better.  At the motivational level you are observing the dog (or person) with whom you’re establishing a relationship and trying to figure out how to make the dog (or person) want to do what you want him to do.

But a real relationship forms when the focus shifts from making the dog (or person) do something or want to do something to  learning how you can accomplish the desired task together.

Bones Would Rain from the Sky is a great dog book and is sure to bring smiles and a few tears to those who are committed to their dogs.  But there’s a lot to like and learn from this book even for those who aren’t dog fanciers.  Highly recommended.