The four types of dog vomit

by Dave Schuler on December 4, 2005

It’s an oldie but a goodie. I don’t know the original source of this but it’s pretty wellknown to dog lovers.

YELLOW URKA-GURKA

Dog runs around the house and hides under furniture while making a prolonged ‘uuuuurka-guuuuurka, uuurka-guurka’ noise. (This noise is the only thing guaranteed to wake up a true dog lover who is hung over from a post dog-show celebration at 3:30 a.m.) After mad scrambling to capture the dog and drag him outside, the episode ends with an inaudible ten yard slimy yellow froth from the living room rug to the back door.

BLAP DISEASE

Dog exercises hard and (a) eats large mouthfuls of snow (winter Blap Disease) or (b) drinks a bucket of water (Summer Blap Disease). Within two minutes of returning inside, the dog spews out large amounts of clear slimy liquid while making a distinctive ‘blap’ sound and a sharp percussive noise as it hits the linoleum.

GARKS

Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and dramatic ‘gggaark, gggark’ noises generally followed by prolonged ‘iiiksss’ and then loud satisfied smacking noises. There is nothing on the rug. Don’t investigate, you don’t want to know.

RALFS

Apropos of nothing, the dog strolls into the dining room and waits till the innocent dinner guests are all watching him. Then, with a single deep gut wrenching ‘raaaalff’ dislodges the entire weeks’ contents of his stomach on the dining room rug.

Variation: Then he eats it.

In all the above events the dog is entirely healthy and indeed deeply pleased with himself.

I mentioned in the previous post that it’s snowing here in Chicago. We’ve already had our first Winter Blap.

{ 2 trackbacks }

Richard Walker :: Brisbane IT Professional (Infrastructure / Web) » The four types of dog vomit
January 24, 2009 at 4:41 am
Animal Day @ The Twilight Zone « areshaonline™
April 30, 2009 at 6:59 am

{ 124 comments… read them below or add one }

brydup October 13, 2010 at 6:38 pm

this is the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.

Barbara October 15, 2010 at 11:22 am

I agree; Now I know where “RALPH” (human burping noise) came from. LOL “Ralfs”. Too funny.

pug momma October 25, 2010 at 7:54 am

If your dog is vomiting repeatedly go to the vet. My 15 year old rat terrier ate an ant bait somehow and ended up in the emergency room. She was vomiting white foam and would drink water causing more. She also had diarrhea. After the ordeal she has a very sensitive stomache from the acid in the poison damaging her stomache lining and hypoglycemia both of which cause her to vomit. The hypoglycemia makes her scarf her food and then drink water till she vomits.

SnoopyTheGoon January 7, 2011 at 12:08 pm

Dog lovers and their dogs! Of course, this inferior part of human and animal kingdom(s) hasn’t an inkling of the rich variety, nuances, audio-visual accompaniment, and, let’s not be afraid of this word, versatility of feline emesis. We (feline lovers) pity you somewhat (of course, when we are able to look up from avoiding the latest puddle).

Well, otherwise it was a cool report ;-)

Charles S. March 20, 2011 at 9:47 am

To borrow an old Art Linkletter saying(with a variation) Dogs do the darnedest things! What would we do without the little darlings making our days so interesting and sometimes making us worry a little bit?

Beth Bernstein April 9, 2011 at 7:14 am

Would love to send this to dog friends I show with!
Permission to cross post??

Dave Schuler April 9, 2011 at 8:58 am

Of course.

Twinkle Nabor-Enyong July 14, 2011 at 5:15 pm

My 8 weeks old Shih-Poo puppy vomited saliva while playing with her toys. So when I googled about ‘puppy vomitting saliva’, this link came up on page 1; I must say its funny. The Garks are so true with my 3 adult dogs though.

C Kershner August 22, 2011 at 10:13 pm

OMG!! The “Garks”? There’s a name for it? And we thought our dog was just doing it for attention! If we could’ve gotten a dime for every time we dove for the towels to sop-up the imminent flood of dog-barf that could only have followed such a performance….well, you get the idea.
Solution for the Garks – laminate floor. Sleeping much better now that the white carpet is no longer the deciding factor.

Denise August 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm

Hahaha!! Thank you so much! I came here feeling very down, looking for possible physical ailments thy might have caused my dig to bite me, and this has lifted my spirits immensely. This is obviously very well-researched :)

Denise August 30, 2011 at 9:42 pm

I meant my dog, of course.

aliza November 3, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Excellent Post! I just noticed this change a few minutes ago and made a short post about it. I will include your post in it.
Thanks for the suggestions
easy to train dog breed

hudo January 21, 2012 at 5:32 am

it all sounds funny for you dog owners that there dogs dont have serious conditions with spewing up yellow bile but the dogs that spew yellow bile and have serious conditions is a totaly differante thing

Debra Miller March 21, 2012 at 1:18 pm

Oh, that was helpful! LOL
I was trying to find out why my dog was puking a white paste and this came up in the search. Well, it cheered me up. Funny!

Helen August 14, 2012 at 4:59 am

I was looking for a serious answer to my dog’s vomiting issues and came across this. We have sore stomach muscles from laughing. Fantastic. Thoroughly enjoyed – but still don’t have answers. Thank you for a great giggle!!!

Jeanne September 28, 2012 at 7:46 am

Okay, so my dog puked this morning. Haven’t had her long and have been treating her for worms, so when she ralphed some white chunks I thought I had better investigate to make sure there is nothing else wrong with her (haven’t had her long). This has to be one of the funniest posts I have seen, especially for the topic discussion! Thanks!!

Steph December 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm

Hi! So I got a German shepherd puppy three weeks ago, and he is now three months old. He is very active and healthy; excellent appetite, and he goes in for his third series of shots tomorrow. Overall he’s fine, but lately he gulps down his water and a few minutes later he coughs it up. I only water him three times a day when he’s eating, and I moisten his kibble as the breeder suggested, so I know he’s not dehydrated. I also read somewhere that excessive thirst could be a sign of diabetes or even parvovirus, but he has no other symptoms. Is it just that he drinks too fast?

Holly January 24, 2013 at 3:31 am

Hahahaha! I was googling “puppy vomiting” because my 3 month old puppy puked a bunch of white stuff (I think it was the smartbone we gave her), and I ended up here. I laughed so hard I cried. Thanks for posting it.

anne February 4, 2013 at 6:13 pm

I have an english bull dog. He is about 5 yrs old and this dog sleeps all day long could care less if he eats but everyday he vomits at least 4 or 5 times. He doesn’t over eat . I dont give him alot of treats . I jsust can’t figure why he vomits this is every day since I have had him. He was a rescue dog and has been with me for 5 months now. I just love him to pieces and he is so happy to have found me too. What could be making him vomit. And I mean it this is every single day .

jess March 27, 2013 at 12:20 am

well my friends pup was really sick for a whole day. He was usually full of spunk but today wasn’t. It started off he was puking flem couldn’t even keep water down and anytime he would move he’d puke. Well the next morning he had passed. She said it was strange cause he had green stuff coming out of his mouth like he was posioned

liddibug August 18, 2013 at 8:23 pm

I couldn’t seem to stop laughing when reading this!!!

dog lover September 27, 2013 at 4:18 pm

Hi, I have a 11year old Jack Russel. He’s been. Throwing up white/yellow thick foamy slime. He use to be sooooo active (he would run 5k’s with me) and the last month he’s gotten so skinny and barely has an appetite. I took him to the vet, and they don’t know what’s wrong with him. (After xrays, blood smears, blood works, the works). He is on medication now. And hopefully he reacts. What could be wrong?

Tori October 5, 2013 at 8:40 am

My puppy is 16 – 17 weeks old and she has worms even after I treated it. Well any way she went outside to go potty and she vomited white foam with chunks of white worms in it. My dad tried to scare me and said that she might die and I cried at the thought. Please tell me what is wrong with her.

justin October 19, 2014 at 3:11 pm

my feeonces puppy was throwing up green lquid mucus stlye of stuff and is loosing energy and not eating i nee dhelp figureing out what this is fast it just started happening

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