Job for the Modern Day: Generational Consultant

If you find yourself out of a job, here’s a new career you might consider: generational consultant. As reported by the Wall Street Journal:

Millennial expert Lindsey Pollak says she can teach companies a thing or two about young workers. First, they expect work to be meaningful. Second, they crave frequent feedback. Third, they despise voice mail.

People born in the 1980s and 1990s now make up the largest single generational group in the workforce, and managing them has become a source of agita for big businesses such as Oracle Corp., Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and Coca-Cola Co.
Millennial issues also have become a source of income for a host of self-anointed experts who say they can interpret young workers’ whims and aspirations—sometimes for as much as $20,000 an hour. Oracle, Red Robin Gourmet Burgers Inc. and Time Warner Inc.’s HBO have retained millennial advisers to stem turnover, market to young people and ensure their happiness at work.

I think that’s probably something I could do for $20,000 an hour. I mean, that’s not Hillary Clinton money but it’s good pay nonetheless.

I do think that there are some particular ways in which you must treat millennials different than you would, say, Baby Boomers but not many. Most of the examples given in the article are just good management, whether your employees are Baby Boomers, Generation X, or millennials.

As suggested by one of the practitioners of the art quoted in the article, it’s obviously a racket.

5 comments… add one
  • PD Shaw Link

    Millennials like to feel respected by the knowledge that someone is getting paid $20k an hour to contemplate their existence. I am willing to accept $10k, and let it “get out” that I am charging $30k.

  • ... Link

    I’d also do the job for $10k per hour. But I’d tell them to import slave labor and fire the little snots. Additionally, I’d have them tell the little bastads that if they feel bad about losing their jobs to immigrants, they’re obviously bad people, likely even Trump voters, and therefore I’m firing them with cause and they can’t collect UEC.

    PD, you’ve got to think of these added wrinkles if you want your scam consultancy to really succeed.

  • Andy Link

    I train millennials in my day job. Admittedly my group probably isn’t representative, but none fit the stereotypes put forth by boomers and especially those in my own generation (who really should know better).

    ” Most of the examples given in the article are just good management”

    That was my take as well.

  • walt moffett Link

    Have any of these consultants suggested a marching band and 76 trombones?

  • Think, men, thiiiiiink.

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