Will, our eight year old Samoyed male, Kendara’s Trespassers Will, died this afternoon.
For the last year he had struggled with a health condition which became increasingly severe. It was diagnosed as inflammatory bowel disease and pancreatitis. In theory these are not terminal conditions but he did not respond to treatment. He wasted away. At the time of his death he was quite literally just skin and bones and fur, weighing less than half as much as he had a year ago. Even in his feeble, wasted condition he was a strikingly beautiful dog. He had been a UKC conformation champion.
We did what we could, first seeking help from our regular vet, then a veterinary internal medicine specialist. We took him to the University of Wisconsin’s vet school. We sought assistance in feeding him from the University of Tennessee’s Veterinary Diet Center. For the last couple of weeks we fed him a homemade diet of mostly tilapia and sweet potato and I’m quite sure I will never be able to eat tilapia or sweet potato without thinking of him.
But it was to no avail. Last Wednesday he gave up eating entirely. Then he stopped drinking.
Over the years we have had five therapy dogs but Will was exceptionally gifted. He had a true genius as a therapy dog—he knew who needed him and what they needed. He did an enormous amount of good for many people in his eight too short years. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was remembered long after I am dead and forgotten as “that beautiful white dog who helped my Daddy” or “that beautiful white dog who helped my Mommy”.
He was my own personal therapy dog and I’ll miss him dearly. I am overwhelmed with grief and guilt. The grief is understandable but the guilt is completely irrational. We did everything we possibly could have done and our entire veterinary care team remarked on our tenacity. Sometimes no matter what you do it’s just not enough and it’s important to know when to let go.
My condolences, Dave.
I’m so very sorry to hear this. You are right, of course, that your feelings of guilt are irrational. Some of it probably relates to the feeling of helplessness when everything you can possibly do is ultimately not enough. I think too that a death from a disease that is less well defined, and for which we can’t give a definite prognosis, can be harder to deal with because we aren’t as prepared. A chronic inflammatory disease doesn’t sound as formidable as cancer, for instance, so it’s harder to accept that some pets will die from it too, no matter how great the care.
I’m not sure what type of therapy he provided for you personally but obviously that adds another level to the loss.
A final note- I doubt that you chose his registered name, but the Winnie the Pooh reference made me smile.
So sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved dog, Dave.
Oh, no. We chose the name. I think it suited him.
My condolences on your loss.
I do not think you have anything to feel guilty about, but I do not think it is irrational. We second guess ourselves, and we wonder if we should have done something more or sooner. It sounds like you all did well beyond what most people would, and that says something about you.
I believe that any animal (human or non-human) I invite to live under my roof gets to be treated as part of the family (even if they are not that smart), and when they cannot care for themselves, I must do everything possible to care for them. It is worse for non-human animals because we have crippled their natural abilities.
Our hounds get the best health care in the house. My theory is that they cannot tell me when or what the problem, and it is better to err on the side of caution.
… Sometimes no matter what you do it’s just not enough and it’s important to know when to let go.
For some people, it is important to fight to the end, and knowing you could have done more would be worse.
I’m so sorry to hear this, Dave. I think its natural when you lose a loved pet to somehow feel like you’ve let them down. Of course that feeling isn’t “correct” but its inevitable when you are doing things the right way.
Sorry to hear of this additional loss for you and your family. About to lose another cat to cancer, and it is excruciating watching them waste away. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but it turned out that our first cat dying suddenly was probably the for the best. I hate the wasting illnesses the most.
“The grief is understandable but the guilt is completely irrational.”
On the off chance it may be useful, “there are no rational people, only rational arguments.”
One way or another, we’re all in this together. Again, my condolences.
I’m sorry for your loss, Dave. Eight is too young for such a dog.
I’m sorry for your loss Dave – he sounds like he was an amazing dog.
He did an enormous amount of good in such a short time. The tragic thing is that he had a lot more to do. I do not believe that I could do as much other than by supporting and facilitating the good he did.
Everyone who met him has said so. And he most certainly was.
However, in addition we have an amazing program which Will’s untimely death has put a serious kink into. Our therapy dog program here at Camp Schuler goes back about twenty years.
It takes two years at the very least to train a good therapy dog. If you’re lucky the dog’s productive work life will be until he or she is around ten. That means at any given time you’ll probably have one retired therapy dog, one working therapy dog, and one therapy dog in training.
Tally had been retired from therapy dog work for five or six years when she died. Nola is not really suited for the work. That will be true of some dogs. Nola is too sensitive—the work would be too stressful for her. Smidge, our Australian shepherd, while a fine agility dog would not really be suited for therapy dog work. Kara is still a juvenile. She has at least another year and she may not pan out.
Will was our working therapy dog and he was brilliant at it.
I am so deeply sorry, David. I don’t know how long it will be for you to be able to make tilapia ad sweet potatoes without deeply missing Will. At the end, I gave Shani brown rice and 5 Guys burgers and that was over 2 years ago. I still feel sad when I pass by the Rice/ Grain Bar at Wegman’s – or 5 Guys. My deepest condolences on your loss.
We had sweet potatoes last night (we have a lot left). It was reassuring. It made me feel closer to him.
I’m deeply sorry for your and Janice’s loss, Dave. Will was a lovely guy, a dear soul, it is very sad news. Your kind and giving nature is to do all that could ever possibly be done, and Will knew he was beloved.