The Watcher’s Council Forum question this week had to do with favorite sports. Most of the sports I’ve participated in have involved beating the snot out of people. I was astonished that there was another kendoka on the Watcher’s Council. There aren’t that many in the United States. I wasn’t quite as surprised that several of the other Watchers practiced martial arts. I don’t think any others taught as I did.
If you’re interested in the Watchers’ responses, the forum post at the Watcher’s site is here.
My favorite sport – and one I think should be in the Olympics – is TSA security line shuffle. To make this “chore” into a true sport we need some basic rules, for example a standard set-up: liquids, laptops, shoes, belt, loose change in jeans pocket. Contestants would be scored on their speed at both the breaking down and the reassembling stage. But I think we may also need an element of judging, like figure skating, because I think a certain elegance can be achieved, perhaps even some artistic flair. You could definitely put a little something on the hands-over-heads move as you pass through the genital-scanning device.
Samsonite would totally sponsor the US team.
Certainly a test of speed and endurance. And they don’t even supply any music!
If it corresponds with my experience, there could be both singles and pairs events.
Some years back I went through what I have come to call the “United Airlines Diet and Exercise Program”. We landed in Atlanta and had to change planes. At the time the Atlanta airport terminals were layed out in an enormous “Y”. We had to go from one tip of the “Y” to the other, a considerable distance without much of a layover. In effect we had to sprint from one end of the terminal to the next.
We arrived at the new gate only to be informed that our flight had been cancelled and that we’d been reassigned to a different flight, leaving in a few minutes. That flight departed from the gate next to the gate at which we had arrived.
We sprinted back to our starting point to be informed that our flight would be delayed. The new flight did not serve a meal. Hence, the “United Airlines Diet and Exercise Program”.
Ah, Hartsfield. It’s one of those airports that defies the usual laws of geometry in that all gates are the maximum possible distance from all other gates.
I believe Hartsfield was designed by a mad topologist to achieve that effect. That one is on us mathematicians. Sorry about that.