Democratic National Convention, 2004 Part 2

What did it mean?

Howard Dean

“To everyone who supported me ­ you’ve given me so much, and I can’t thank you enough. But this was never about me. It was about us. It was about giving new life to our party, new energy to our democracy, and providing hope again for the greatest nation on earth.”

I’ll be back.

Ted Kennedy

“Today, more than two centuries after the embattled farmers stood and fired the shirt heard “round the world,” the ideals of our founders still resonate across the globe. Young people in other lands — inspired by the liberty we cherish — linked arms and sang “We Shall Overcome” when the Berlin Wall fell, when apartheid ended in South Africa, and when the courageous protests took place in Tiananmen Square.”

This means that Mr. Kennedy has left his contact lenses in too long.

Teresa Heinz Kerry

“Today, the better angels of our nature are just waiting to be summoned. We only require a leader who is willing to call on them, a leader willing to draw again on the mystic chords of our national memory and remind us of all that we, as a people, everyday leaders, can do; of all that we as a nation stand for and of all the immense possibility that still lies ahead.”

This means that Ms. Heinz Kerry needs a better speech writer. It’s hard to harness Abraham Lincoln to drum up support for John Kerry.

Barack Obama

“On behalf of the great state of Illinois, crossroads of a nation, land of Lincoln, let me express my deep gratitude for the privilege of addressing this convention. Tonight is a particular honor for me because, let’s face it, my presence on this stage is pretty unlikely. “

This means that Barack Obama will be the next junior senator from Illinois.

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