The Threat of Racist Babies

The best post I have read today is by Christopher Gage on the threat of racist babies. Here’s its kernel:

Home to noted intellectual Jeremy Corbyn and a sea of green-haired nutters fluent in gender studies and Mythical Melanin Theory, Islington is London’s answer to Berkeley. (Some say residents of Islington consume 98% of the world’s falafel, which might explain a great deal.)

Burping into the social Chernobyl that is Twitter, Islington Council shared a poster replete with helpful diagrams, skull measurements, and the typical physiognomies of these racist babies.

‘Children are never too young to talk about race,’ say those employed chiefly to talk about race. Apparently, two-year-olds ‘use race to reason about people’s behaviours,’ and to choose their playmates. By age five, ‘white children are strongly in favour of whiteness.’

“At three months,” it reads, “babies look more at faces that match the race of their caregivers.”

Perhaps those babies search for the face matching that of their parents because those babies are utterly dependent on their parents, their parents being the centre of their universe. When I’m poleaxed via whiskey and wine, I consult my memory for the colour of my front door and the rough location of the keyhole. So far, this method has proven 97% effective across my fifteen-year career as a semi-professional carouser.

Researchers neglected to divulge whether non-white children displayed racial bias.

I’d suspect such omission is telling. The answer is likely ‘yes,’ yet such findings prove unhelpful to those desperate to keep their ludicrous raison d’être in vogue amid a precipitous decline in those concerned with the density of another’s melanin.

Read the whole thing.