My father died many, many years ago just as he and I were beginning to develop an adult relationship. It’s a loss I’ve never really recovered from and I miss him still. My wife’s father died more than ten years ago. I’m not a father and it looks pretty unlikely that I’ll become one. So Father’s Day is not a big deal in our household and I don’t have much in the way of wisdom to offer about it.
Instead I’ll send you to three very different bloggers who each have three very different ways of being a good dad: James Lileks, Roger L. Simon, and Kim du Toit.
Hi, sorry off-topic, but the ‘anthem’ thread rolled under, and I thought the comments were so good, if those same people check in here, i’d suggest they look at
http://www.opinionjournal.com/columnists/pnoonan/responses.html?article_id=110005225
Father’s Day, My dad passed away in 1986 after a good, productive, and happy life. He felt like everything had been a gift since February 25 1944 when his B-17 was shot down over Germany. I think maybe that seeing life as a gift is precisely what makes it one.
Me, I have two thru college, one in, and on entering high school, three daughters and one son, the son is the oldest thank you Lord for small favors in birth order, the girls all have a ‘big brother’ to help me keep order! Or, a semblance of same, I should say.
Buddy Larsen:
You are a very lucky guy.
Everything under the sun costs something, though, Dave, and in the big things, the cost is about the value, probably. I know i sound crass, here, but the sheer volume of time and mental energy one spends imagining all the metaphorical and otherwise beasts that prey on the kids, and the long decades of almost complete self-sacrifice that one never realizes is inescapable until it’s inescapable, and the forgone novel or Van Gogh challenge or lifetime of hedonism on a tropical island, all to provide for and set an example for some young folks who stay mad at you for the second and third decades of their lives, all-in-all makes the whole question of having kids versus not, pretty much of a coin-toss, as far as how to best live one’s own life. And, thank you for the opportunity to say so anonymously (and if it proves not-anonymous, then, dear family, you KNOW I’m only joking…right?).
Buddy Larsen:
Many of my friends have made similar comments. From their vantage the relative freedom (and wealth) my wife and I enjoy looks very appealing sometimes.